Things I Found Funny Today

1) "Autopsy: Cocaine contributed to Billy Mays' death". Great... the coroner confirms what we've all known for years. NOBODY is THAT excited about laundry!!!

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I'm so proud of my little garden, I had to share!

I planted this rose, and picked my very own home grown green beans today... and finally, look at my basil plants!! They are going crazy! I can't wait for margherita pizza made at home!! : )

The Horses are Approaching the Starting Gate....

JOCKEYS Season 2 premieres August 21 @ 10PM EST/PAC


Look for me, the Magpie, and Motorola in a few shots!

PREMIERING THIS MONTH!

OMG! I can not tell you my excitement over this. Figure Skating and Food? Flamboyantly gay men in San Francisco? Fantabulous! I am SO excited about this show.

"What Would Brian Boitano Make?" ...Tune in: Premieres Sunday, August 23, at 1pm/12c

Recovered from the Pretzel Stand Attack

* I think I'm finally past it.

* This morning, I took Magpie along on a walk of Brookside Park, which borders the Rose Bowl. I'm not sure how many miles it is around, but I'm guessing maybe 2. I walked with a colleague from work and then the Magpie pedaled along. It was nice, and I was proud of him for making it the whole way without complaint, and only a few random stops to observe the squirrels and wonder aloud at the German Shepherd who slobbered after him like a well-cooked steak.

Experiments in Cooking, and the Weirdo at the Pretzel Stand

* On "The Best Thing I Ever Ate-- Pizza" yesterday, I heard a chef talk about a pizza she'd had in NYC at Five Points Pizza. It was a yukon gold potato pizza with cheese and white truffle oil. I thought, "hmm... now this is a way to use the white truffle infused olive oil I have at home". So... above is the yukon gold with fontina, asiago, mozzarella, and romano, a bit of white truffle evoo, and voila! Yum! I bought a hand stretched pizza crust at our italian market, so it was very thin and very good. And only 7.5 WW points per 1/4 of the pizza! Yeh!

* I'm at the mall with the Magpie, when all of a sudden, he demands Wetzel Bits, which any mall hopper knows are pretzel dough cut into muti-bite size pieces and they give you far too many for one person. Undeterred, I acquire pretzel bits and being the new and improved Weight Watcher, I ask for the special "no butter" pretzel, which, the cashier informs me, will take a wait of 7 minutes. I'm inside in the air con and it is August in LA, so I'm cool with the wait. But then, this woman who is also waiting and blurting out things like "I hope that's not my pretzel I smell burnin'!" says to me:

"have you tried the Almond.. or the... oh what is it...yeah, almond with the glaze?"
Me: "Um, no I haven't heard of it."
Her: "Ooo girl! It's SO good!"
Me: "Well, uh, it sounds good, but I can't have the sugar on it. I'm going with the no butter pretzel."
Her: "Oh yeah, I been trying to lose weight forever. I drink this tea; I get it at the 99 cent store... diet tea."
Me: "Oh really? Is it green tea?"
Her: "No... it's diet tea... but it's in a green box."
Me: "Aha. Sounds inter...."
Her: "At the BIG 99 cent store though."
Me: "Oh, okay."
Her: "This tea makes you go the bathroom. So I take it when I get up, then I get ready for work,and by the time I leave, I'm done going to the bathroom. And you can see the fat! You can see it in the toilet!!"
Me: "ughhhhhhhh, ummmmmmmm...."
Her: "I lost it, but you know, I'm all flabby [holding stomach roll] and I got to exercise. By next summer I'll be, ya know, firm!"
Cashier: "Here's your no butter pretzel ma'am."
Me: "Thank you!"

-and then I ran away as fast as my feet could take me toward the parking lot!

Movie News

* OMG. I’ve been told of two upcoming TV/Film related premieres that are very exciting to me:

1) “What Would Brian Boitano Make?” on Food Network. Figure Skating, flamboyantly gay men, and food. What could be better??

2) “Amelia” starring Hillary Swank as Earhardt comes out in October. So does “New Moon”. October is looking pretty good so far.

* I just read that Spielberg is remaking “Harvey”. Since I have yet to see it, I’m going to have to rent the orginal, and quickly.

* I’m reading about the “10 British Comedy Films” I should have seen, and note this one:
ind Hearts and Coronets (Robert Hamer, 1949)
Everyone that recommends this classic satire of course begins by mentioning the performance(s) by Alec Guinness as eight separate characters, all members of the D’Ascoyne clan soon to be murdered off by a vengeful relative (Dennis Price)

What?! Obi-Wan? I must see this.

Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Dear Staples, Target, Yahoo!,

As of tonight, I have seen your "most wonderful time of the year" commercial, your red cardboard bins of iniquity, your animated school buses, and your "we're your headquarters" claims. I don't know what CEO deemed August 1 the kick off of Back-to-School, but seriously... it's four weeks away.

Yes, I've purchased the flashing red lighted Bumblebee backpack and Autobot lunchbag. Like the rest of society, I was sucked in by your $3.97 white board Expo markers. But enough of your tempting sales and discounts already!

Let's get one thing straight, Target. You can fancy up your ads and pretend you know a lot about school, but in what universe is the mother getting 'everything on the teacher's list of supplies' and yet picks up and bags in the knapsack a full set of Sharpies. There is no teacher on the planet dumb enough to put out a supply list with do-it-yourself tagging materials. Duh.

Sincerely,

Enjoying the full 25 days of joy left.

Tito Cory and the Thousand Pairs of Shoes

* I noticed yesterday on Yahoo! that searches on Corazon Aquino were up a lot, and wondered why. Today, I learn she's been laid to rest in Manila. I had no idea she had died, and now all I can think about is the lumpia that will be served to commemorate her passing. But seriously, you have to give a thumbs up to someone who helped bring democracy to a nation. Whatever happened to Imelda Marcos. Is she alive? If not, who inherited her shoes?

* Motorola's watching the X-Games. My thought: "how many anti-anxiety drugs are in Travis Pastrana's mother's medicine cabinet?" That boy scares me. I fear the Magpie may attempt to follow in his footsteps.

* The Magpie is reaching the age when he no longer wants to hold my hand. I can't tell you how sad it makes me, because those little hands are so adorable and I'm having a hard time letting go. I know, I know... suck it up. But my baby is becoming a little man. Yesterday he told me to mind my own "beeswax" and then met his friend with a "what's up ese?". Excuse me? You're six, not sixteen. Gheesh!