Regarding the Gates incident

Um... you want an apology for an accurate statement about your inability to assess a situation? I think not.

Look, my son at three years of age locked me out of the house by deadbolting the back door while I took out a trash bag to the can. The only way I could get back in the house and rescue him from a) flushing 80 gallons of water down the kitchen sink, or b) lighting the house afire, or c) climbing on some unsecured piece of furnitury was to break through the screen door on our front entrance with a set barbecue tongs. Nobody called the cops on me as I ripped the screen to shreds and climbed in through the wood frame. And if they'd have shown up, I guarantee you my explanation would have been sufficient.

This whole thing is ridiculous, and the police did act stupidly. The man had just gotten off the plane after a trip overseas. I feel stressed and pissy when I take a one hour flight from Vegas back to L.A. and don't want to speak to anyone until I can pee, sleep, and eat in my own home. No wonder he was not as 'compliant' as one would normally be when they are well rested and not aggravated about getting into their OWN HOME!! And you mean to say that not one of the so-concerned, let's-call-the-cops-on -these-black-men because we're so watchul neighbors stepped up to say, "oh yes, that's Mr. Gates who LIVES there"?? Unacceptable.

The Onion says it all...

How To Save California
With the federal government refusing to lend its assistance, the State of California is in dire financial straits. Here are some of the budget cuts being considered to save the state:

$1.2 million: Canceling a planned monument to Adrienne Barbeau

$109 million: Eliminating program that gives $100 pocket cash to hopeful starlets as they get off the bus in Hollywood

$100,000: Reduce annual salary of people holding up letters for Hollywood sign all day

$170 million: Closing all schools east of Bakersfield


$24 million: Promotional fund for spreading bullshit claim that California makes great cheese

$11 million: Ceasing production of Tell Me About The Rabbits, George: The 3-D IMAX Experience for the Steinbeck Center in Salinas

$9 million: Funds used to keep vandals out of Peter Falk's yard

$47.2 billion: Schools, roads, potable water

Magpie's Quotes of the Week

"You can't pass until you say the password!"
"What's the password?"
"I'll give you a hint. Dale...."
"Earnhardt!?"
"No. Dale Taco!"


"Wow! Peaches are 99 cents a pound!? We could get 2 pounds!!"

"Mom, where's that place you get your perskiptions?"
"Walgreens?"
"Yeah. That's it."

Stayin' Cool

In honor of the hottest week I can recall in a long time, I changed my template to a cool blue. I hope it makes you feel the breeze. It's like a virtual Icee from me to you.