Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Dear Staples, Target, Yahoo!,

As of tonight, I have seen your "most wonderful time of the year" commercial, your red cardboard bins of iniquity, your animated school buses, and your "we're your headquarters" claims. I don't know what CEO deemed August 1 the kick off of Back-to-School, but seriously... it's four weeks away.

Yes, I've purchased the flashing red lighted Bumblebee backpack and Autobot lunchbag. Like the rest of society, I was sucked in by your $3.97 white board Expo markers. But enough of your tempting sales and discounts already!

Let's get one thing straight, Target. You can fancy up your ads and pretend you know a lot about school, but in what universe is the mother getting 'everything on the teacher's list of supplies' and yet picks up and bags in the knapsack a full set of Sharpies. There is no teacher on the planet dumb enough to put out a supply list with do-it-yourself tagging materials. Duh.

Sincerely,

Enjoying the full 25 days of joy left.